ipso facto rotflmao: Do not confuse these products

Caution advisable for concurrent use of these products:

Urinozinc formula capsules and Uranus Inc hemorrhoid suppositories.

Unpleasant side effects if carelessly administered. You've been warned.

ipso facto rotflmao: If it's sausage, you must be ...

A customer comes into a store, walks up to the counter, and orders a Polish sausage.

The man behind the counter says, "You must be Polish."

The customer becomes incensed. "This is an outrage! Just because I order a Polish sausage, you assume I'm Polish? If I had ordered an Italian sausage, would you assume I was Italian?"

The counter man responds, "Mister, this is a hardware store."

ipso facto brofo: It don't compute. Or does it?

Over at my favorite blog, Norm references an anomaly in sexual surveys: men report having many more sexual partners than women. According to the so-called High-School Prom Theorem, the totals of sexual partners for men and for women should be the same, with the implicit assumptions that any given survey population includes all of the putative sexual partners in that survey, all of whom are truthful. So why is the stud-to-slut ratio greater than 1.0 for most, if not all, surveys?

The most likely explanation is that: for men, stud is an honorific, whereas for women, slut is a reputation. The other explanation often suggested, that survey populations do not normally include all participants (such as prostitutes), is not likely to be a significant factor for large enough survey populations.

But there is another possibility, which is not mentioned in the referenced article. The Theorem does not apply to same-sex partners. There may be more of those among men, some of whom are likely to be bi-sexual, than among women, some of whom are also bi-sexual. Some of those surveyed, men and women, who have had partners of both sexes, may be reporting all their partners. Do the math, brofo.

ipso facto mofo: No muss; no fuss; no brains

We live in a modern apartment complex, with many conveniences and amenities. One such is the garbage disposal chute, conveniently located just a few steps down the corridor from the apartment. You open the chute door and the 21st century gravity-powered amenity disposes of your garbage. No muss; no fuss.

Unless some moron forces something, like a cardboard packing box, into the chute, thereby disabling it. Such stupidity will necessitate the use of the 20th century alternative convenience, namely taking your garbage via the elevator to the basement, and dropping it directly into the compactor. No muss; just a little fuss.

Unless the prescient management posts signs next to the chutes, requesting that residents refrain from using the chutes until the blockage has been rectified, so to speak. The posted signs state the obvious, but, seemingly, not obvious enough, because they omit mentioning what the imbecile residents are to do with their garbage in the interim.

Naturally, if imbeciles are required to engage brains they don't have, they will simply leave their garbage right in front of the chutes, piling up to the ceiling. No muss; no fuss; no brains. Do the math.

F*cking idiots!

ipso facto mofo: Lame ducks? Stupid f*cks? I'll take the former ...

Term limits are a good idea. Why? Because elected officials have just two items on their todo list:

1. get reelected
2. get the people's work done

Guess which one has top priority. The only effective means for getting the people's work done is to eliminate the top priority item from the todo list. The only way to do that, short of enduring a national catastrophe that gets the attention of even our Self-serving Branch of Government, is to impose term limits. That way, the people's servants can finally attend to the people's business when they have become lame ducks. Sort of like that very funny character in those TV ads, who comes to the rescue when disaster strikes.

While the President is not trying to get reelected so he can serve his people as Chief Executive and Commander in Chief, our Congress is serving itself by doing everything it can to check and balance sanity with its opposite. Meanwhile, the nation is threatened by mortal enemies, the infrastructure is falling apart, and the people are dying.

Time to amend the Constitution? Do the math.

ipso facto mofo: New Left Insanity

The New Left (Chumpsky et al.) has wrapped around the political spectrum to the threshold of old fashioned Fascism. Support for mortal enemies constitutes insanity by definition (mine). Do the math.